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My Love Is Floating through Your Net  (Part I)

作者:漓江烟雨
翻译:林月

Chapter 1

Another night after raining.
The wind is touching my face gently, with fresh air and the sm
ell of rain.  It feels like someone is playing music by toughing the c
ords on a stringed instrument.  The sound is light, scattering, hittin
g straight into my ears.  What a familiar night!  The same wet, same s
ad.  It caught me again.

I know I'm going to meet her during a night like this.
Yes, indeed.  When I was standing in the night wind, her face
appeared in front of me, familiar, pretty and clear.  I stretched my h
ands toward her, reached her hair, then stopped on her face.
I could even feel her body temperature, and her smooth, tender
skin......
I said: Finally, you see me.
She said: Yes.  You look just like what I've dreamed of.
I said: You are also my dream.
She said: It was a dream for both of us.
I said: One day, we are going to wake up.
She said: No. We'll let it go on.
I said: You promised to keep me.
She said: But it was you who escaped.
I said: I probably worried too much.
She said: Yes, regret could be pretty, but I would rather to s
ee a different you.

When she was saying all these words, she was staring at me, wi
th her deep eyes, in the deep night.  I felt like she was taking me in
to her eyes, but she turned her body and disappeared in the darkness,
leaving me all alone, in this beautiful city, in this lonely night.  M
y hands are still outreached, while my mind is telling me, what I have
been holding is just the empty air......

I wanted to choose a better time to tell the story.  But I kno
w that when time passes by, my memory, as well as my enthusiasm will g
o away, no matter how excited I was.  I think I can only describe this
pain while it still hurts.  It's like a wound, right as it heals, you
open it.  It bleeds, but it also makes you remember.  I kind of like
this bloody reality.

Chapter 2

In today's changing world, I happened to be a fancy guy who's
changing with the world.  I caught up fashions in all kind of aspects,
except AIDS.  I learned about the internet by chance.  I still rememb
er the day when I went to a computer shop with my friend.  My friend w
anted to buy an ink box for his printer.  The manager of the computer
shop seemed drunk that day.  He started to chat with us.  He told us h
ow wonderful the internet is, how easy it is to get to newspapers and
books all over the wor
ld.  Of course movies too, those without special editing!  He said, yo
u can also make international calls at the same rate as the local call
s!  You can put whatever you want on the net without worrying about be
ing offensive to your government.  I told him that I have written a lo
t of stuff.  But the publishing house would never accept any of my wor
k.  They told me that I wasn't good enough.  I needed to go home and g
o over all of my basic literature classes in high school.  Now, with t
he internet, it seems
to be all set.  The manager finally told me that there are a lot of po
rnography and sex books on the internet too.  His final words caught m
e and I made the decision.

The next day, I took the computer back home and linked it to t
he internet.  I asked the manager of the computer shop where I could p
ut my free comments.  He said after I bought the computer, his interes
ts in me ended.  He simply heard that from somebody else.  Shit!

There was an article in a magazine said that internet is much
like the Renaissance and the industry revolution.  China had missed bo
th and it could be the reason why China is still a developing country.
Now, the third revolution in the history of human civilization ----
the information technology is coming.  China couldn't miss it again.
If you miss this one, there is no longer another one.  At the end of t
he article, it also criticized the telecommunication systems in China.
It said that the cos
t for internet in China is even higher than that in America.  This kin
d of behavior will only get short term profits, and the consequence of
it could put China into a bad position again.  The title of the artic
le was a good one: the internet, the new life.  I liked the article, b
ut I didn't know how it changed my whole life.

I am a pretty smart guy.  So, a month later, I became very goo
d at playing with computers and internet.  The saying was right: It is
a wonderful experience of life in the net world.

The internet is just like an anticipator, especially its news
report.  Couldn't complain!  One day, I even learned on the news wire
that a flight from Beijing to Kunming was hijacked and landed in Taiwa
n in ten minutes, etc......

I registered in lots of web sites, using different nicknames,
posted a lot of articles, criticized others when I didn't agree with t
hem.  It was more like throwing bricks on others, tough, heavy and sho
wing no mercy.

I used to admire the newspaper editors a lot.  I wanted to get
my works published.  But now, when I put my name as author of the art
icle on the BBS and saw some responses after that, I was so proud of m
yself and felt that I was just as good as those big names who won the
Nobel prizes.  Sometimes, I was even upset if I didn't see any respons
es following my speeches.  I almost forgot that there is another thing
called newspaper in the world.  Later on, I got to get on the interne
t every single day.  O
therwise, I didn't feel right.  I didn't want to go out.  I lived like
a sick man.  I truly believed that you could do all you need to do in
your life on the net except making love and giving birth.

The greatest feeling it gave me was the freedom.  I could do w
hatever I want!  But I didn't go to those pornography web sites.  Beca
use they usually ask you to pay to get in.

I felt this kind of life was just great and happy.  I felt tha
t I was living in a honey pot which was so sweet, pure sweet!  Day and
day passed with these good feelings, until one day, I went into this
chat room.

Chapter 3

That was a night after I finished posting an article on the BB
S, which was about some tips that I learned from being in love with so
meone.  It developed as a series, although I didn't intend it to.  I c
ouldn't remember which episode that was.  I was very tired after that.
So I went to the bathroom, peed, and logged into the chat room on Gu
ilin city's web site.

This place was always crowded with people.  Because of the mem
ory limit, it only accommodates 15 people at the same time.  My tip wa
s to open another window and monitor the chat room.  As long as there
is one person logging out, I could sneak in immediately.  This small t
rick made me feel good.  That was one of the reasons that I liked this
place.  Another reason was that you can talk to somebody by choosing
an one-to-one selection.  That's good for privacy.  Nobody else could
possibly see the words
.  You can say whatever you want in the private room.

After saying "hello" to every old friend, I found a new name:
Bored.
I said in the hall room: Hello, Bored, are you new here?
After a long time, I saw his words: Yes, Rain.  My typing is r
eally slow.  Please don't puch.
I liked to chat with slow typing guys.  Because that would all
ow me to chat with several people at the same time.  If everyone is "s
peaking" fast, I would not be able to do so.
Rain: Oh, that's all right.  Where are you from? What is your
ethnic background? Are you married?
Again, it took him a while to say: Sorry, that should be "push
", not "puch".
Rain: You don't have to correct the spelling.  We all know.  H
ow dare you get in the chat room if you are so slow? Also, you must be
using the company's net hours, aren't you?  Can't compete with you!
Bored: No. I'm in the net bar.
Rain: Well, then you must be a rich guy.
Now, another person named "Beauty" said: I want to marry the r
ich guys.  I'm marrying Bored.
It was easy to tell this was a faker.
Rain: Hi, Beauty, you might want to marry Bill Gates then.
Bored: You all are just making fun of me, aren't you?  But tha
t's OK.  I still would like to thank you.
Rain: I think you have a cool name.
Bored: Yours is pretty good too.  As a matter of fact, I am bo
red.
Rain: Let me find you a younger SS to chat.  I know who are SS
and who are BB here.
Bored: What do you mean by "SS"?
Rain: SS means " Small Sisters"; BB means "Big Brothers".
Bored: Oh, I see.  OK.
Rain: Go after "Lotus".  She's not married yet.  She's just br
oken up with her boyfriend.  If you go after her, you are going to get
her.
Bored: Let me talk to her then.  See you!
Rain: Hi, Bored, remember to read my new articles, please!
Bored: Where?
Rain: Just click on the box on your left side and you'll see t
hem.  I've put them everywhere.
Bored: OK.  Bye
Rain: Bye.

The next day, after I finished fighting back to those networms
who have thrown bricks on me, I went in the chat room comfortable and
relaxed.  When I got excited of talking to my old friends, I saw the
screen showed "Bored in at 21:30".
I said: How are you? Bored.  How's Lotus?
Bored: Hi, Rain.  She is very sad.  She couldn't even complete
a single sentence.  It might have hurt her too much.
Rain: I feel that you are typing pretty fast today.
Bored: I've been practicing all day long.  I'm quite tired now.
By the way, I saw your articles.
Rain: What do you think?
Bored: I think the first part is better.
Rain: Ha ha ha, You must have read about the sexual stories in
the "Joking Collections".
Bored: What are you talking about?
Rain: Well, since this is your first time reading those dirty
things, I wouldn't blame you.
Bored: I think you should write them in this way ............
Rain: Wow, I haven't been taught for a long time.  Would you p
lease give me some suggestions?
Bored: Let's use the one-to-one selection, then others wouldn'
t know.
Rain: OK.  Please speak, I'm listening.
Bored: I think you have the talent .....  But you haven't put
enough thoughts in the structure of your writings.  Also, although you
've clearly expressed yourself, the problem is ......
When he was talking, I started to "copy" and "paste".  After h
e finished with his talk, I already had his article ready and pasted i
t on the BBS forum.  The name of the article was " Instructor Bored is
giving a grammar lecture to Rain".
Pippen was then shouting in the hall room: Wow, instructor Bor
ed is a great teacher!  Did he graduate from kindergarten?
Bored: Pippen, how could you possibly know what I said?
Pippen: Go to the BBS, then you'll know.
He went to the BBS.  When he came back, he was angry: I though
t you were a good man.
Rain: That was just a joke!  You are now known all over the wo
rld.
Bored: You really have nothing better to do!
After that, he left immediately.
I thought, well, I must have offended him.

During that weekend, I read an article on the BBS which told a
love story between a little girl and a little boy.  I thought it was
good.  An interesting thing in the article was that the two 2 or 3 yea
rs olds were actually talking in a way to mimic adults.  It said that
they were planning to get a marriage certificate when they were sittin
g on their potties.  I thought that was really funny and started laugh
ing.  I sent a responsive message saying that I was the little boy, th
en who's going to be t
he little girl?  After that, I noted the author's name was BORED.

My girlfriend called that night and asked me to go out dancing.
How could I possibly be interested in that?  I've given all I have t
o the internet!  I told her to come by and I'd show her two love stori
es on the net.  I told her that these were really good stories.  I pro
mise that you are going to be moved by them.  After you finish with th
ose, we'll go dancing.  What do you say?  She said: OK.  But you canno
t play tricks on me.  When she got to my place, I gave the two stories
to her, one by Chai
and another by Qiao Feng.  What I planned was that when she finished w
ith the reading, it's going to be too late to go dancing.  I was right.
When she finished reading those stories with her eyes wet, it was ti
me for her to go home.  Then she realized what I did to her.  She star
ted to blame me: You are just immature!  You are still unreliable! .......
Before I got a chance to defend myself, she's already slammed the doo
r and left.  That made me feel pretty sad, so I went to the chat room.

Not long after I logged in, I saw "Bored in at 23:30".
I sent him a message by the one-to-one selection: Hi, buddy, t
hat was my fault, OK?
Bored: I wasn't really angry with you.
Rain: Don't try to pretend.  I noted that you haven't been her
e for several days.
Bored: I've been busy.  I am going abroad soon, so I have a lo
t of things to do.
Rain: Wow, you are a lucky guy!  Are you going to chase those
western girls?
Bored: Of course not.  I am going to school.
Rain: What a great plan!  I admire you.
Bored: There is really nothing to be admired.  Just cheating o
n those foreign schools.
Rain: I saw your articles on the BBS and they were great.
Bored: That was just for fun.  Cannot compare to yours at all!
Rain: Hei hei, I like to hear that.
Bored: I am going to add another one in two days.  Please give
me some advises after that.
Rain: You are a very very humble person.
Bored: Yes, I am and I should be.

Two days later, I saw his new article.  This time it was sayin
g that the two little kids were finally grown up and fell in love with
each other.  The boy went abroad, and the girl wanted to go with him.
I didn't like the story as much as the first one.  Because it made m
e feel so sad and heavy.  The part describing how the girl had tried h
er best to get her visa approve was the best and looked real.

When I met him in the chat room, I told him: I think your stor
y is pretty good. You should be awarded for the "Excellent novel prize
of China".
Bored: If it could ever win any awards, it should be the award
s for nonfiction.
Rain: Then, that was true?
Bored: Yes, it is true.  You cannot imagine how much I've paid
for trying to get my visa approve.  I almost have lost my patience.
Rain: My life wasn't easy too.  I just had a fight with my gir
lfriend.
Bored: I thought you were a happy man.
Rain: well, yes, sometimes.  So, how's your girlfriend?
Bored: Haven't I told you that my boyfriend is now in France???
Rain: WHAT???
Bored: What's wrong with you?
Rain: You are a SHE??
Bored: Yes.  So?
Rain: Why didn't you tell me at the very beginning?
Bored: You never asked.
I thought it for a while.  Could she be lying?
Rain: Well, I don't believe you.
Bored: Why should I lie?
Rain: I still don't believe you.  You are at the net bar, righ
t?  Let me call you over there and make sure.  What is your machine nu
mber?
Bored: 6.
I called over there and asked for the user on computer NO. 6.
She answered the phone.
I was still suspicious: Let me ask you a question.
Bored: OK.  Don't you think you are too picky?
Rain: Are you going abroad to chase girls?
Bored: No. I am going out for school.
Rain: Well, the answer is correct.  Add 10 on your score!
I heard a sweet laughing at the other end of the phone line.
Bored is actually a girl!
Chapter 4

Next time when I talked to her, I felt differently.  It is muc
h more pleasurable talking to girls than talking to those "Monk under
a Umbrella" or "Playboys" etc.
One day, I asked her why she spent her time in the net bar?
Bored: Oh, I forgot to tell you.  I bought a computer for myse
lf.  I don't need to go to the net bar anymore.
Rain: I know you haven't been on net long yet.  There could be
bad men on the net, for example, "Miao Hong".
Bored: What could I do on the net to protect myself?
Rain: Let me give you some tips.  If you feel that you are off
ended by someone, you should teach them a lesson.
Bored: All right.
Rain: Let me tell you some dirty words commonly used on net.
Would you like to know?
Bored: Yes.
Rain: Do you know what "TMD" means?
Bored: Yes.  I saw it in the newspaper.  It is short for the m
ilitary defense systems.
Rain: No.  This is the initials for the Chinese dirty word "XX
XXX".
Bored: Wow, I didn't know that. What else?
Rain: Do you know "WC"?
Bored: That represents the water closet.
Rain: No. It means "XXXXX" or the "World Cup".  And TNND means
"XXXXX".  Now do you know "TLLD"?
Bored: That means the same thing.
Rain: Yes.  How clever!
Bored: It's easy to learn how to be rude to others though.  Wh
at else?
Rain: Others like "SB" means "stupid bitch" or "son of bitch".
Hei hei....  All right, you've learned enough.  Now it's your turn t
o tell me something.
Bored: I don't know anything.
Rain: Come on.  You've got to know something!
Bored: OK.  I'll ask you a riddle.
Rain: That is what I'm good at.  Before you ask the question,
I've got the answer.
Bored: Don't be so sure. The question is : There are 3 worms f
ormed a circle.
One said: there are 2 worms in front of me.
Another said: there are 2 worms behind me.
While the third one said: There are no worms in front o
f me or behind me.
Now the question is, WHY?
I thought it for a long time, almost half a day, I still didn'
t have the slightest idea. Finally, I gave up.
Rain: I don't know.
Bored: Then guess.  Weren't you saying that you'd give the ans
wer even before I ask the question?
Rain: Well, you know.  Sometimes I say stupid things.  Please,
what's the key?
Bored:  The key is, the third worm, it..........is..........ly
ing!
I felt this Bored is a quite interesting girl.

During the following days, I chatted with her everyday.  Actua
lly, she knows a lot of stuff.  Sometimes, her knowledge fascinated me.
I liked to talk to her.

One day, my girlfriend came by without calling me.  She came i
n and sighed angrily: Are you going to stay on this stupid net for the
rest of your life?  I said: No. I currently have only half of my life
to be on it.  She said: I'm talking to you! Seriously!  Would you ple
ase stop joking?  I said: I am not joking.  She said: I can see you ar
e throwing your life away on the internet. Please leave it alone! Othe
rwise, you could destroy yourself.  I wasn't sure what she meant by th
at, so I said: Is that
what you come all the way down here for? To give me a lesson?  She sa
id: No. I just wanted to persuade you.  I said: I have been writing ev
eryday. I believe I'll become a good writer soon.  She said: By what y
ou have in you? Forget it!  I said: Well, kings of Qin and Han were no
t good at writing too.  How could you demand me to be that good?  She
seemed to be irritated by my attitude.  She started to yell at me: Tha
t's none sense! How could you call yourself as a MAN?  I said: My sex
is a man. I'll never d
deny it.  She pointed at the screen of my computer by her fingers: Loo
k at what you have here! Things like "Beauty"? Like "White Ghost"? And
here's one even call itself straight as "Bored"!  They are BORED!  I
finally got mad.  I shouted: You, get out of here! Don't ever say a wo
rd like that in front of me!  She left immediately without a word.  I
heard her feet walking away, I could not recall what happened and what
I said.  After a while, one thing that I could be sure was that she's
not coming back anymo
re.  I was sitting in front of my computer.  Didn't know what to think,
didn't know what to say.

People were still talking to each other in the chat room.
Cupid: Rain, Come on!  How could you go to the bathroom for so
long?
Noland: Yanyu was arrested 10 minutes ago.  The reason is not
clear yet.  I think it might have something to do with the rape case l
ast night.
Bored was talking to me too: Hi, Where have you been?  There a
re lot of people who want to talk to you.
After a while, she said: Hi, Rain, what's wrong?
I suddenly had an impulse.  I said: Bored, would you please be
my lover!  Lover on the net.  I know that we couldn't get together.
But I'll take good care of you, at least on the net.  Would you please
answer me?  I know you are going abroad anyway.
After a while, Bored said: Are you playing tricks on me again?
If I promise you, you'll put this on BBS right away, right?
Rain: No, I will not, I swear!  Please trust me this time!
Bored: What happened?  I feel you are different today.
Rain: Just tell me yes or no.
Bored: Mm......, give me a minute.
After a minute, Bored said: Well, I think we can try.  I don't
know how it's going to feel though.
I said: Bored, I love you.
Bored: Hi, Rain, stop it!  I'm not in the mood yet.
Rain: Then what do you want me to say?
Bored: Let's wait until tomorrow, OK?  I feel a little tired n
ow.  See you!
Rain:  Hi......
But the screen said: "Bored out at 23:30"
I had a lot of things to tell her that night, but she wasn't t
here.
To be honest, my girlfriend loved me a lot.  And she was right.
I haven't settled yet.  Maybe we didn't fit with each other.  What I
could say to her was, I'm sorry and wish you luck!
Life was just wonderful!  After I broke up with my girlfriend
for 20 minutes, I got another lover on the net.  This made me feel muc
h better.  It was just like the penalty kicks in a soccer game.  You f
irst feel frustrate about the missing from your team, you cheer up bec
ause of the missing from the component in the next minute.  I put my f
rustration behind me immediately.

Chapter 5

At that time, I didn't think how we were going to end.  I reme
mber Jordan said: When you get on the court, don't worry about winning
or loosing.  What I wanted was just seeing Bored everyday.
We started our talk like this:
Rain:  How are you, my sweetheart?
Bored:  My dear, I missed you.  Ha ha...
She asked me this quite often: Would you please say some words
to show your love?
I tried my best, but I was not good at it.  At that time, I ha
d to admire those centenary lovers.  How could they possibly come up w
ith so many love imaginations and inventions.
I have blamed myself on this.
What I could say was : I don't know.
Bored:  Then what did you say to your real girlfriend?
Rain: All right then.  You listen.
Bored: Ha ha ......
Rain: Now I am kissing your left cheek, then your right cheek......
Bored: My face is now turning red...
Rain: And then, kiss on your.......... lips.
Bored: Stop it !  I wouldn't talk to you anymore.
Then she ran away from me and went to talk to a guy named "Win
dworm".  I went to talk to "Heartrain" too.  I knew that she was tryin
g to make me jealous.  Finally, I begged her:  If you are not coming b
ack to me, I'll tell everybody: I love Bored!

Bored:  How dare you!
Rain:  Don't ever underestimate me!
Bored:  We'll see.
Rain: Well then, I'm counting three.
Three!
Two!
One!
Bored: Don't!  Don't!
Rain: Hei hei.....
Bored: How could you do this to me?  You're a bad man.
When she was calling me "a bad man", I felt like I really was
in love with her.
She is a gentle, friendly girl.

Chapter 6

It's been a long time since I put any articles on BBS.  I was
totally in love made by my own imagination.
Several days later, she asked: What was wrong with you the oth
er day?
I said: I was broken with my girlfriend.
Bored:  That is what I guessed.  That's why you are after me,
right?
Rain:  Sorry, you have a right to blame this on me.  You can b
eat me gently if you want.
Bored:  No.  I cherish you too much to hurt you.
These words made me feel very special.
Rain:  Actually my girlfriend is a good girl.  We may be just
not good for each other.
Bored:  Sometimes I feel the same way.  When I talked to my bo
yfriend, I feel he is not real to me.
Rain:  Is that because of the distance?
Bored:  No.  It is something about the way he thinks.  He has
changed a lot.
Rain:  Or he has been changed by the western "peaceful transit
ion"?
Bored:  When I am talking to you, I feel great.  I feel we are
so close to each other.
Rain:  Hei hei.
Bored: I talked to my boyfriend on the phone today.  Guess wha
t?  I though that was you who's at the other end of the phone line.  I
thought it wouldn't happen.  I was confused.
After that, we were silent for a while.  Then I realized that
there had been a huge change in our relationship.  To speak it clearly,
that's our love on net is now entering our real life unavoidable.
Rain: Is your boyfriend a good man?
Bored: Yes, I think so.  We have grown up together.  When I ta
lk to him, I don't feel the same way like when I talk to you.
Rain: I feel the same thing too.
Bored: Then, what should we do?
Rain: Do what we've been doing.  You'll go abroad, I'll still
get myself on the net.
Bored: Before I know you, I was bored, indeed.  You know, wait
ing has been very hard on me.
Rain: I know.  It is just like what I have been waiting for yo
u here everyday.
Bored: Before I made the call, I still remind myself, this is
just a game between Rain and me.  Do you still remember the riddle tha
t I asked you?
Rain: Yes.
Bored: After the call, I realized that my mind, it........was........
lying!
This kind of love is now running away from the regular routine.
I didn't predict that it was going to develop like this.  What I tho
ught about this was simply fulfilling my net life and adding some colo
r in my life.  And now, I cannot neglect what have been brought to me
this time.  It was just like what the poet Xu Zhi Mo said: It's easy t
o cheat, but you end up with cheating yourself.
This was my first time to feel how heavy the net could be for
me to carry, which was totally different from what I used to feel.  I
was trying to go back to what I was used to.
I said:  I was beaten heavily by my Dad when I lied to  him.
She sensed what I tried to avoid. She said: What a poor lover!
woo.. woo.. woo............
I said:  Don't be like this.  Our families haven't met yet.
She said:  What do you want?
I said:  Look what I'll do.
I opened another window, and gave myself another name: Rain Da
ddy.
Rain Daddy: Who is in love with my son?
She opened another window too.  Her new name was Bored Mammy.
Rain Daddy: Oh, it was you, Bored.  My son said he loved you a
lot.
Bored Mammy: Don't you ever forget how terrible your son is?
Learning nothing, but good at making trouble!
Rain Daddy: Hi, mom-in-law, how could you say a word like this?
You need evidence.
Bored Mammy: Who is your mother-in-law?  Don't call me that an
ymore.
Rain Daddy: You want to deny?  My son said they've already DON
E THAT.
Bored: Oh, please, Rain, don't talk about THAT.  Otherwise, I'
ll leave.
Rain: All right.  All right.
Rain Daddy: Your daughter is threatening my son again.
Bored Mammy: So? Your son is stupid.  It is really not necessa
ry to use the word THREATEN.
Rain Daddy: What do you think of their love?
Bored Mammy: I've told my daughter that if she is still hangin
g around with Rain, I'll break her legs.
Rain Daddy: Wow, wow, wow!  Don't get mad!  When do you have t
ime?  I probably would like to ask you out for dinner or something.
Bored Mammy: What do you want, your womanizer?  You should not
call yourself Rain.  "Womanizer" fits you better.
Rain Daddy: Does that mean you agree with their engagement?
Bored Mammy: I didn't say that.  It depends on how well your s
on's behavior is.  Not just well for a short period of time, but well
for a long time.
Rain Daddy: My son is good at doing "Sweety ass" shows. Please
be prepared for their wedding.  At that time, we are going to be in-l
aws.
Bored Mammy: Pei!  I don't want to argue with you anymore.  Go
t to go.
The screen said: "Bored Mammy out at 4:00"
Rain Daddy: She doesn't even watch her attitude!  OK, my last
word is, I love you, Bored Mammy.  Bye!
Rain Daddy than logged out at 4:03.
Rain: Ha...ha...ha...
Bored: Ha...ha...ha...
We both laughed.
Just like the comrade Xin Qi Ji said: Better to laugh with dri
nks, not to waste time with worries.

Chapter 7

After that, our talk again changed a little bit.
I'd say:  How are you, my sweetheart?
She'd say:  I miss you, my dear.
She was no longer joking as "ha ha".
And, when she met me, she typed out a lot of "Rain... Rain...
Rain... Rain......"
I knew she missed me and she's in love with me.
Chapter 8

There was a song which said, the flower is going to fall somed
ay.  This is common sense.  But after I was on the net, I forgot my co
mmon sense.
One day, Bored reminded me.
She said: Dear, let me tell you something.  Please be prepared.
Don't get upset.
I said: Upset me?  No way!
Bored: All right then.  My visa was approved.  I'm leaving in
the next week.
What?  I was shocked at that time.  Although I have been prepa
ring, I still didn't know what to say when it came true.
I said: I would rather not be acknowledged.
Bored: Sorry.
Rain: That's OK.  You don't have to apologize.  There is alway
s a bye-bye time anyway.
Bored: When I get there, I might not have time to get on the n
et.
Rain: I'll write everything down.
Bored: OK.
Rain: And how many days we've been together, I will write how
many Ks for our story.
Also, I've got the name ready, which is "My love is floating t
hrough your net".
Bored: It is a romantic name.  But, a little bit sad.
Rain: I'll remember and make a good record of the time that we
've been together.
Bored: Would you put it on BBS?  If so, I will be able to see
it.
Rain: I might not be able to write as good as "Chai" and "Qiao
", but my story is going to be more believable, since it is true.
Bored: That's all right.  As long as I like it.  Don't you agr
ee?
Rain: Yes.  I'll write it for you.
Bored: Do you remember the first time that we met?
Rain: Yes.
Bored: That was my first time on the net.
Rain: Yes. You've been learning fast.
Bored: You are the first man I met on the net.  Thank you for
these joyful days you gave me.
Rain: Please don't say that.  There's no "thank you" between y
ou and me.
Bored: Hi, I hope I could be a net, then I'll be able to hold
you tight.
I said: Let's talk about something else.
She said: OK.  You first...

I was sleepless that night.  Before I got in bed, I picked up
a net magazine and kind of read though it.  Finally, I stopped at one
of the articles.  The title was "Internet, God or Ghost?"  It said: No
matter how well the internet develops, it is still a tool.  Yes, it c
ould let you go to the Pantheon temple in Athens to think about all of
the historical implications.  It could lead you to the Louvre in Pari
s and see Da Vanci's "Monalisa", but you will never feel the slightest
wind of the Mediterra
nean Sea, or use you feet to feel the coolness of the limestone of Lou
vre in Paris.  This is the conclusion: The internet will give you ever
ything, but at the end, you own nothing. When I read it, I was wonderi
ng What if I had read this earlier?

Twenty days before, I lost my girlfriend because of this invis
ible net.  And now, I am going to loose another one.
My prior girlfriend was right.  I had no sense of responsibili
ty.  I was totally determined by my emotions.
Now I think this is a chance for me to be responsible.  I woul
dn't ask her to stay, because she's paid so much for her trip.  She's
laid all her hopes and dreams on this way out.  Even if she's willing
to stay, what could I ever give her?  Why should I go asking for somet
hing means nothing?
At least I am not a selfish man.

During the following days, her feeling has changed a lot.  She
kept saying that she wanted to meet me.  I said "NO", definitely.  We
have been silent to each other.  We were waiting for her leaving day
in a sadness atmosphere.
The day before her departure, we met in the chat room again.
Bored: Dear, my flight is tomorrow morning.
Rain: Before you go, be sure to eat rice noodle for your break
fast.  I don't think they serve this kind of food over there.
Bored: All right.
Rain: Be careful.  Don't go to those red-light areas.
Bored: You mean, areas like Brooklyn.
Rain: Yes, that's it.
Bored: When I'm not here with you, please take care of yoursel
f.  Don't stay up too late.
Rain: If you are not here, I don't even want to be here anymor
e.
Bored: This is going to be my last time here.  Would you pleas
e say good-bye and wish me luck?
Rain: Yes.  Good bye and wish you luck!
Bored: Oh, rain, I'm going to miss you!  You don't know how im
portant you are in my mind.
Rain: Yes, I know.
Bored: No, you don't!  Sorry, Rain, I still want to ask:  Do y
ou want to meet me?
Rain: No.
Bored: Do you want me to stay?
Rain: No.  Please don't continue.
Bored: Let me ask you another riddle?
Rain:  OK.
Bored: Do you believe that right now, my tear is falling down
on my face?
I knew that was a hundred percent true.  But I still said: Let
's talk about something else.
Bored: Can I finish please?
Rain: Of course.  I'm listening.
Bored: You are a "SB"!
That was her last words left on the net for me.

Chapter 9

I didn't know I was going to meet her that night.

I didn't get on the net that day, because I couldn't bear the
feeling of loosing her.  I went out to have dinner with several old fr
iends.  We haven't seen each other for a while, so we had a lot to tal
k about.  Those talks caught my attention, I almost forgot what has be
en bothered me recently.  After dinner, Don's page was beeping.  He we
nt to answer the call.  When he came back, he said: Let's go to hospit
al to see one of my colleagues.  Rain, you come with us.  You don't ha
ve anything to do anyw
ay.

It was raining when we got to the hospital.  Don told me that
his friend was going abroad.  She's been on net recently and she gave
herself a nickname of "Bored".  His words almost made me fall down.  I
said: Well, I think I'd better stay at outside and wait for you.  But
they dragged me in.

I finally saw her.
She was lying down on the bed, pale, weak, but clean, pretty.
I saw the beauty between her eyebrows, lovely, just like what I had i
magined about her.  Her voice was very soft and tender.  From her red
swelling eyes, I knew she had been crying.  I was standing behind thos
e fellows.  I couldn't look at in her eyes.  I felt my heart being bea
ting fast, and the beating spread all over my body.

Her ankle was hurt by a motorcycle.  They just sewed her wound
up.
Don was joking with her:  When you were hit by the motor, who
was the one you were thinking of?
Lin said:  Must be me!
Don said:  Get out of here!  You should be at least a hundred
behind.
They seemed to know each other very well.
Bored said:  I was thinking about one of my friends on net.
Don said:  Come on, there is no real love on the net.
Bored insisted:  I believe his love is real.  I'm sure he's no
t cheating me.  He just didn't want to delay me.
Oh, she knew everything and understood how I felt!  There was
a pain in my heart.  I almost spoke out: Bored, your Rain has come to
you! He is standing right here!  But I knew I couldn't break the rule
I set.

A nurse asked:  Who is going to pay for her?
I said: I am.  'cause I'm standing the closest to the billing
office.
They all laughed at me.
I knew that if I could ever do something for her, this was my
only chance.
When I returned back to the emergency room, they were there ta
lking about what we ate for dinner.
Don said: Everything.  Fishes, ...........
Bored said: I haven't eaten yet.
Don said: You are leaving tomorrow, how about some fishes from
Li river?
Bored said:  Fish in Li river?  That is a good one.
When she mentioned the Li river, I was the only one who knew w
hat she meant.
I said:  You all stay here and chat.  I'll go to get the fish.
I went to the food services and bought a bowl of steamed fish
soup.
She was sitting on the bed and started eating.  Her eating ges
ture was very delicate.   I was just thinking: If I could ever be that
fish.......
She suddenly said: Oh, I know how he's going to write the stor
y now.
She realized that nobody would know what she's talking about.
She explained:  Oh, sorry, I was thinking of my friend on net again.

I could not no longer stand this, this pain of knowing her as
my soul mate but treating her as a stranger.  I went outside.  If I st
and beside her any longer, I'd hold her and kiss her on her lips deepl
y.  I knew I couldn't.  At this moment, I remembered that someone said,
there are only two kinds of women in the world.  One is who you must
kiss, another is who you must not kiss.  Bored belonged to the second.

When they were about to leave, Bored opened her arms and said:
Who is going to carry me?
Lin said: I am.
Don said: What you really want is just to get close to her.
Then I said on purpose: Who wants to get close to her?  She lo
oks so ugly.
She looked at me "angrily".  She said: You are the first one w
ho said I'm ugly. Then, I want you to carry me.  Be careful, I might c
rush your back!
There was no way for me to say "NO".
Chen and Lin started joking as they have lost a great opportun
ity.  Bored was smiling.  Her smile looked really good.

I carried her on my back and went to the street.  The air was
extremely fresh after raining.  She whispered to me: Thank you.  One o
r two of her hairs were extending down to my ear, making me feel itchy.
I was shaking my head trying to avoid them.  She noted it, pulled he
r hair up, and scratched my neck for me, with her soft fingers.  I sai
d: it's all right.  A tear was coming out and my eyes were all wet.  I
smelled her fragrance, deep into my lungs, clean and touchy.  She was
so light and tender
on my back, I couldn't even feel her weight, like she's been fused to
my body, and we became one......
Oh!  If I could just carry her like this, standing on the stre
et, for the rest of my life, forever, forever......

That bastard taxi!  it was approaching us with two shining lig
hts.  I asked the driver: You sure you got enough gas?  The driver sai
d: Good question!  Nobody asked a question like this, not even in the
license test. I said: Just kidding.

She's in the car and said good-bye to everyone.  Now she looke
d at me.  I went up to her and said:  See, my back hasn't been crushed
yet.  She smiled and said: See you later!  The cab then started, and
drove away from us.  Her eyes were staring at me in the night shadow,
making me think that she wanted to take me with her, and then she disa
ppeared.  She might have sensed that I was the one she was missing all
day long.  I said to myself: well, we are not going to see each other
any more.

Chapter 10

During the deep night, I was wondering alone in the middle of
the street.  I went through the whole city, looking down at my own sha
dow growing long and shrinking short by the road lights.  There was on
e or two cars passing me, some were broadcasting music, others were qu
iet.  The wind was running all around the night, touching my face, wip
ing my tears, and blowing my love floating through her net........


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